stress relievers
This week was joke week at work... I got them from everyone.... its seems as if, everyone, was needing a break this week.
Take a break ... laugh .... forget about the "crud".. and breathe...
A man, while playing on the front nine of a complicated golf course, became confused as to where he was on the course. Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her, explained his confusionand asked her if she knew what hole he was playing. I'm on the 7th hole," she replied, "and you are a hole behind me.
So you must be on the 6th hole. " He thanked her and went back to his golf. On the back nine, the same thing happened and he approached her again with the same request. "I'm on number 14, and you're still a hole behind, so you must be on the 13th hole. "Once again he thanked her and returned to his play.
He finished his round and went to the clubhouse where he saw the same lady sitting at the end of the bar. He asked the bartender if he knew the lady. The bartender said that she was a sales lady and played the course often. He approached her and said, "Let me buy you a drink in appreciation for your help. I understand that you're in the sales profession. I'm in sales also.
What do you sell?" "I'll tell you, but you're going to laugh," she replied. No, I won't." "Well, if you must know," she answered, "I work for Tampax."
With that, he laughed so hard he almost fell off the bar stool. "See," she said. "I knew you'd laugh!" "That's not what I'm laughing at," he replied, "I'm a salesman for Preparation H, so I'm still a hole behind you."
And another one:
The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists ... Two men and a woman.
For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances.
Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair ... Kill Her !!" The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Sorry, you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."
The second man was given the same instructions.
He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes.
The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."
Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, tokill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard,
one after another. There was screaming, crashing, banging on the walls.After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. "This gun is loaded with blanks", she said.
"I had to beat him to death with the chair."
and last but not least:
Take a break ... laugh .... forget about the "crud".. and breathe...
A man, while playing on the front nine of a complicated golf course, became confused as to where he was on the course. Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her, explained his confusionand asked her if she knew what hole he was playing. I'm on the 7th hole," she replied, "and you are a hole behind me.
So you must be on the 6th hole. " He thanked her and went back to his golf. On the back nine, the same thing happened and he approached her again with the same request. "I'm on number 14, and you're still a hole behind, so you must be on the 13th hole. "Once again he thanked her and returned to his play.
He finished his round and went to the clubhouse where he saw the same lady sitting at the end of the bar. He asked the bartender if he knew the lady. The bartender said that she was a sales lady and played the course often. He approached her and said, "Let me buy you a drink in appreciation for your help. I understand that you're in the sales profession. I'm in sales also.
What do you sell?" "I'll tell you, but you're going to laugh," she replied. No, I won't." "Well, if you must know," she answered, "I work for Tampax."
With that, he laughed so hard he almost fell off the bar stool. "See," she said. "I knew you'd laugh!" "That's not what I'm laughing at," he replied, "I'm a salesman for Preparation H, so I'm still a hole behind you."
And another one:
The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists ... Two men and a woman.
For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances.
Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair ... Kill Her !!" The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Sorry, you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."
The second man was given the same instructions.
He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes.
The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."
Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, tokill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard,
one after another. There was screaming, crashing, banging on the walls.After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. "This gun is loaded with blanks", she said.
"I had to beat him to death with the chair."
and last but not least:
posted by Peggy at 3:41 PM
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